How "uncool" I really am

happy 6 months of blogging to me.  I seriously have no idea what I am I going to write about at the moment. . . It is almost scary how blank my mind is right now. Like a man in his nothing box.

Spring Break, actually any break has a tendency to do that.  You come home and you start to lose motivation for basic everyday rituals like putting in your contacts (which I never remember anyways) or even dressing decently.  Sweat pants and messy buns become the uniform of choice.  I just barely got up enough gumption to do a quick work-out after dinner tonight.  Ended up face down on the floor moaning and groaning like someone had beaten me to within an inch of my life. How sad. . . 

On a more annoying note, I didn't get the leadership position that I really wanted for an on-campus job next year.  Honestly, I really think that I grossly over-estimated my chances.  It was humbling actually. I mean I am a fun loving, people person with a winning personality and I love Jesus to top that all off GOSH DARN IT!. . . 

Alright, I admit it. . .
Humble <---- I need to remember this word. Maybe I have been praying that God will show me what needs to be changed in my life but I think I have a tendency some days to become too proud of the changes that I have seen God do in my life. On occasion I forget that perfection will never be possible inside or outside. For me or anyone else. I have failed to realize that He isn't finished with me yet. There is still ugliness within me. . . places where my flesh is just dormant instead of dead. Waiting for the right moment. That is a hard thing to swallow.

The truth: my ugliness and God's perfection are a beautiful dichotomy.  When I take time to acknowledge my inadequacies, it glorifies God's perfection. 

God makes us aware of our defects not so that we will work to mend it ourselves; it is so that we may see even more clearly, the greatness of God's perfection and in turn the degree of the grace we have received. Finally, it is through this grace, not by our own "changes", that we are restored. 

 1 Tim. 1:14-16 
¹⁴ Our Lord poured out more and more of his grace on me. Along with it came faith and love from Christ Jesus.
¹⁵ Here is a saying that you can trust. It should be accepted completely. Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.
And I am the worst sinner of all. ¹⁶ But for that very reason, God showed me mercy. And I am the worst of sinners. He showed me mercy so that Christ Jesus could show that he is very patient. I was an example for those who would come to believe in him. Then they would receive eternal life.

I will never realize the depths of God's majesty until I realize the lack of my own. 

 Show me, oh God, how "uncool" I really am. . .