Clear Window

I accomplished a fairly adventurous task for myself in the last 24 hours.  Lodgeball. Basically the college tournament version of dorm vs. dorm dodgeball.

Now, I am not the most willing participant in any kind of overly active athletic sport so this was a stretch but surprisingly enough I enjoyed it, A LOT.  

I may even go so far as to say that I am considering joining some type of intramural sport. it was a rather empowering experience even though we lost. . . I honestly had no idea how competitive I can be. It was something for me to be proud of.  :) 

Enough about me and on to more important topics. . . 

It's only been 48 hours since I started this and there are moments that I have already felt defeated. There have been unexpected feelings that I have experiencing that make me angry at myself. . . I have realized how weak I am.  All I want it to jump onto the next thing that God has for me and see the end result of all of this.  

 someone told me that maybe instead of asking God to change the situations around me, that I should consider asking God to change my heart. 

Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me!"

So I guess that is my prayer tonight.  For anyone out there reading this. I need God to create in me a pure clean heart that can see things the way He sees them. Kind of like how cleaning a glass window changes the view and shows the viewer a bigger picture. 

Then, I need steadfastness. If I am going to truly be 100% devoted to this cause I have committed myself too this year (and beyond), I am going to need the strength of an unwavering, firm foundation to stand on.

The circumstances of my life are always going to ebb and flow.  I can't even trust myself to stay in the same singleness of mind that I need to be confident and feel peace.  But, when I ask God to give me a clean heart through which to see and a new spirit on which to keep myself stayed, there is nothing that will be able to defeat God's work in me. 

So bring it on day three. 

Psalm 121

¹ I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

⁷ The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
⁸ the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.